And this poetry that came with it. It was revealing, and personally, compelling.
So, to the sewing machine it went with me. And as I reached for this piece of fabric, I hesitated a little bit. It was hand painted and dyed by me, and I spent alot of time adding subtle luminous highlights with fabric paint… and I was afraid to quilt it!
I’ve had it out for several months… thinking it was time to ‘just do it’ but feeling somewhat paralyzed… afraid to attempt something (for fear of failure) and unsure of what it should be, and that old nemesis…”what if I ruin it?” feeling… ever feel that way?
Crazy! It’s JUST a piece of fabric…. so without a clear pattern or idea I just began… loosely ruled lines onto the cloth; thought about the word placement. I liked that idea. It felt good. It felt GREAT to start on it! Adventure: here I come!
Bolstered by this verse from Matthew and the poem, I knew Today was THE Day to “walk by faith.” And… to Go for it!
So I did… only it was via stitch, needle and thread.
I love it. I am thankful for the faithfulness God has shown me when I follow His lead. Two days later and 20 hours of quilting. I understand better… “God’s Deep — not yours.”
I am content. I feel that I accomplished more than just a finished quilt. Small step. Of course it’s not perfect. If I felt more compelled (which I don’t) I would pick out the thick white thread at the top of the Matthew verse. It’s awkward… and tentative… like the way I felt contemplating this fabric for the past few months… and also when I first began stitching. Hmmm… food for thought isn’t it? Hesitant stitching? Hesitant faith?
I’ve always kind of wondered when I hear that the Amish women deliberately make a mistake in their quilts for symbolic reasons. Oddly, and perhaps mistakenly, I feel that to be a study of contrasts. Arrogance in thinking you could even be perfect in the first place?! And humbleness at accepting our imperfections… As for myself, I don’t have to plan it! It just happens!!!
I enjoy looking at the luminosity that flows from the threadplay. The symbolism and journey. Another lesson learned. Another step closer to hearing what God is calling me to do. To and step OUT — and quilt — in faith. Amen.